How Complex Is The Issue of Bullying In
Public Places?
Rob Frenette & Katie Neu
BullyingCanada Executive Directors
One would say that they endured the issue of bullying, as a child at the hands of a school yard bully, or possibly even a teacher or administrator, but what does one who when they are in a public place such as a coffee shop, or in the mall and they face bullying, over and over? What protection is in place to deal with cases like this? Who is supposed to handle these complaints?
BullyingCanada is a national anti-bullying organization, formed on December 17th, 2006 in order to help provide education, support and resources to youth, parents, and educators from across Canada on the complex issue of bullying.
Recently BullyingCanada was contacted by a woman in Victoria, BC who felt she was being harassed and bullied at a local coffee shop. We'll refer to this lady as Susan, to protect her identity. Susan is a senior citizen at the age of 62, who says she suffers from migraines.
"Two men came in and sat in chairs (3-4 feet) behind me. (I was at the counter). One commenced to tap his cup against the wooden arm of the chair. I thought it was perhaps a child. When I turned around to see, the tapping would stop. This happened five or six times. I suffer from migraines and the sharp retort was beginning to take its toll." explained Susan
"To the store manager, the "tapper" admitted he was tapping his cup and that he wasn't going to stop doing so; his friend made loud, hurtful remarks to the Store Manager about my facial appearance.
The two men increased the level of their alleged harassment. One told me that I had a "nasty" face...the "scariest looking face I've ever seen". They told me I could "move to the other side of the room." (This was not possible, the cafe was full). The tapper's friend said that "you need to control yourself. If you can't control yourself, you shouldn't be out in public." (In context, this was a direct reference to my inherited tremor which increases with adrenalin. I was feeling very insecure under their aggressive verbal tirade so the tremor had got worse than normal. The tremor is a disability. The tapping increased even though they knew it was causing me physical distress. They were literally laughing at the distress they were causing me."
"Notwithstanding these admissions, the Store Manager told me he would do nothing. I asked him to phone his District Manager for advice, as she had told me that, in such an instance, indeed, the Managers could ask disruptive patrons to leave. She had priory defended a "disruptive patron" to me as someone who was disturbing another patron.
The Store Manager went off to the back room presumably to make the phone call. That was the last I saw of him." Shared Susan with the BullyingCanada team.
This raises a few concerns; ask a few questions such as: What businesses have anti-harassment / anti-bullying policies in place not only for their staff but customers as well? A simple Google search of "Anti-Harassment Policy" 5,030,000 results came back; most of these results are only workplace related.
That returns to the question
of, what public spaces have anti-bullying / harassment policies in place
to help protect them.
"I phoned the coffee shop's head office. The person that I spoke with
filled out a report. They said "it was inappropriate" that I had
to leave. He escalated it to a "specialist", who told me the
Regional Manager would call me. Yet no one has.
I also phoned the Store Manager at the cafe to ask him why he hadn't come
back, why wouldn't he do anything and what did his Regional Manager say?
He said he "couldn't do anything"; that his Regional Manager had
said for him to file an incident report and that she would talk to him in
the coming days. When I asked what the coffee shops harassment policy was
and what was going to be done to protect me in the store, he then told me
he would call me back. He never has.
A person I know who works for this coffee shop later told me that the only
harassment policy she knows of concerns staff conduct. She further told me
that they are specifically told not to do anything in such situations
because a Store manager was murdered when he came between an upset husband
who was attacking his wife while she was working at a coffee shop that he
managed.
"The men's remarks were so hurtful and malicious in both word and execution, that I became upset. The store manager did not come back. After about 10 minutes, devastated and feeling very, very threatened and embarrassed from the public ridiculing, I left the cafe in tears." Concluded Susan.
Bullying
Canada attempted to make contact with the Store Manager, Regional Manager,
and Head Office of this coffee establishment, without success. Our
calls were not returned.
